broken..

i'm broken, i dont know which way to go :( this is really hurt me so bad. i dont know what to do. im afraid, im afraid to falling in love again, i'm afraid of broken heart, im afriad of tears. but i love you so much, i cant figure out all of this, i want to forget you. start a new paper a new life a new world. if i can ask for one thing, better i dont know you than i have to felt this way. take me to somewhere knew.i tried to not saw you tried to made me stronger, but i cant, you're too adorable to be forgotten, i adore you.


i just want to fix this, i've tried, but nothing. i wont hoping again, i just cant let go after it. why is everybody so confusing? they dont get it! i dont fine! i just.. cant figure out about this! im fine! im fine to say this, but deep inside i was nothing, like a piece of papers there's no ink on me, there's no you to complete me. this life is too hard for me, i cant stand anymore. like screaming.. AAAAAAAAAAAAA i cant.. set me free :( SOMEONE PLEASE SET ME FREE! i'm tired of this, i'm tired. my life's so dark, raining and cloudy, no sunshine, cause you're my sunshine. is anybody hear me? even you? i hope you hear me :").


i'm tired of reality, but i'll to be stronger day by day. you're my energy to face all of this, thanks for being part of my life, you're.. adorable. :") you made me stronger, even you dont know about my presence but i always here :) beside you whenever you need me, i'll running from a thousand miles just for you. 


i just want to find a place for me to be alone, just me. i hope there's a bit place in your heart for me to stay, SOMEDAY. i still hoping for that :) i'll be waiting until the time.

my story

Dear.. Idk

I would like to share you something about my love story at 3rd junior high school. This love story ain't like cinderella or sleeping beauty story but its sad story, really sad.

Me and my bestfriend, called "shene" (just call her like that, I'm not gonna tell you about her anyway) she is my bestfriend, really close with me, she already knew that I'm in love with "bene" (wasn't real name) for a longggg time, she told me to gave up on him, but I couldn't.. I just couldn't. Then one day, idk if my feeling was true, I'm just thinking that they both were so different, not like usual, and I tried to ignored that. Then at the break time, she took me to someplace and told me something that made my heart like DUAAARRRRRR!!! Guess what? HE SHOOT HER! Wow.. Unbelievable, I'm speechless at the moment, then she said "I'm sorry" I'm just.. Crushed.. My heart was broken into the pieces, Idk what to say, I'm just... Don't believe it, how could he took her, while he knew that I'm in love with him and he already knew that SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND?! I couldn't stand, like the gravity stopped and I couldn't felt my feet on the ground, I'm dying..

She hugged me tight and said "I'm sorry" I tried to hold my tears and said "its okay dear, its ok if he took you, I couldn't do anything rite? He choose you". "Is it okay?" "Yea baby" I said with the strong face. Then I walked with her to the classroom. I couldn't hold my tear, I just crying there and she looked me and said "are you okay? I told you..." "That's okay" I said then I walked out. When the school is over she took me to that place and hugged me "I will let him go, I will never love him but please don't leave me. You're my bestfriend" she said, "its okay, just go with him, have fun! He choose you. However, you guys make out or not it doesn't matter for me. I'm fine" I said with smiled. Then she hugged me "you're my bestfriend" she said. I walked home with broken heart, sad face and dying. I didn't have any spirit anymore, I cried loudly as I could.

Now, I just can let it go I can't force him to love me, it doesn't make him open his heart for you. So, please don't waste your time for a boy who ignore you :) you're too adorable and important for that :)